The first time a hominin, in the form of Homo Habilis, walked on earth it was 2,2 million years ago in Africa and proof in the form of his fossilized remains were found in Tanzania and East Africa. He probably didn’t barbecue anything because he was very short and had very long arms plus he wasn’t nearly as bright as Homo Egaster who lived further south in South Africa around the same time, give or take a few hundred thousand years either way, so he may just have taken his meat bluer than blue and not bothered with a fire at all. All that raw meat  and too many plants must have been bad for him because he disappeared from 

the scene at one point and his species died out. It seems that the thing that separates the men from not-men is their ability to make a fire and barbecue their meat which may explain this relationship with the barbecue inherent in all men. We know Homo Egaster was brighter (and taller – at 1,9 meters) and had a much bigger brain – a whole skeleton was first discovered at Lake Turkana, Kenya, in 1984 which proved not only his existence but his far superior intellect. It’s incredible to think that about 1,5 million years ago Egaster used primitive tools and fire to cook his meat – I think we can safely say that this thing called barbecue probably started with him. Erectus began improving on the rudimentaries he learnt from his father Egaster but, as all boys do, he first left home and while he was at it, he left the continent – partly due to the Saharan Pump but also on his quest for the perfect barbecue. He must have met the European, Neanderthal man and would have lived around him long enough to have learnt a few tips before Neanderthal died, never to reappear again but 200,000 years ago after much dillying and dallying, Homo Erectus’s descendents gave birth to Homo Sapiens who were our forefathers. An image of Homo Erectus getting ready for the barbecue below.

All this goes to show that the need to barbecue that men carry within them, has become part of their genetic make up and since those days has never left them. It forms part of their genetic memory and the yearning to stand in front of a fire, written into their DNA and there is nothing we women can do about it. The Chinese, the Babylonians, the Greeks, the Egyptians and the Romans all barbecued. Even in the Middle Ages men barbecued and when the Americas were discovered, the Europeans re-learnt the secrets once again and exported the recipes back to Europe. As far as the new world goes, South Africa led the way when in 1652 Jan van Riebeeck’s little group of settlers had no option other than to barbecue and then in America the pioneers learnt from the Indians – all going to show that men everywhere have always had this insatiable need to stand in front of a fire and ruin a perfectly good piece of meat.

Robert Crampton of Times Online says “The second point about barbecues is that men are in charge.  Even men who, like myself, otherwise score a D for attainment and an E for effort in the home economics department. And yet, given the chance to set something on fire, even the most cuisine-averse man must step forward. When women are responsible for the barbecue, their technique is to light the thing then leave it alone until it’s ready to cook on. Men? We stand there prodding and poking and sifting and stirring and generally fanning, and, indeed, fannying, about. Probably wearing a vest and carrying a huge knife, for extra authenticity. My wife asked me at the weekend why I put myself through this rigmarole. Because, I explained, in terms of masculine pride, the stigma of failure at anything involving naked flame is so incalculably great that you have to give it your utmost attention”. Men overdo it in Paraguay, below.

Todd Babiak of the Edmonton Journal as this to say: “Not long ago, we chased animals with spears and other sharp objects. When we caught them, these deer and buffalo and boars, we would offer our thanks to the gods. Maybe we would cut off a hunk of flesh and lift it heavenward. At this point, we may or may not have rubbed blood on ourselves. If a fermented beverage were available, we might slaughter the dead animal and celebrate with booze and, gods willing, feats of strength and agility. Shortly after midnight, we would begin fist fighting, singing dumb songs and declaring, “I love you, man,” in our strange dialect.”  On a cautionary note, some cold water from one of the finest chefs on earth, Gordon Ramsay: ”  ….. for Gd’s sake all you men, leave the barbecue to the ladies and go and sort out the drinks instead. You are pretty much all useless. And if you absolutely must pick up the tongs then don’t drink first! You wouldn’t have a few drinks and then tackle the Sunday lunch would you? So why do you all think it’s OK to cremate sausages and chops when you’ve had one too many?”  The word ‘barbecue‘ may have originated with Taino Indian word barbacoa meaning meat-smoking apparatus (image of what their barbacoa would have looked like above)or the French word “barbe a queue” which means “whiskers-to-tail but since the latter makes no sense to me at all, I’ll give the Indian word my nod. The first charcoal briquette was invented by  Ellsworth B. A. Zwoyer of Pennsylvania when he patented a design for charcoal briquettes in 1897. For all the men that are now able to understand that there is nothing they can do about the urge, a recipe or two so that the meat you barbecue cannot be ruined.

BARBECUED FILLET STEAKS WITH SMOKED CHILLI BUTTER

Before we start – always remember that different kinds of charcoal burn at different speeds and generate different amounts of heat. When the charcoal is an ash grey on the outside and hellishly red in the centre, the fire is ready. All meat will stick to the grill when it touches it for the first time but as soon as it has been seared, it will come away easily, so don’t try and pry it loose from the grill. Once the grill is very hot, sear the meat on both sides over a medium-high heat close to the middle because the charcoal is at it’s hottest there. Now move the meat as often as you like and remember that if your meat is fatty, the fat will drip onto the coals and cause flames that give an awful taste to the meat. Blackened meat is bitter. Turn the food reasonably regularly (it is not cooked as one would a steak in a pan) and remove just before it’s ready as it cooks while it rests.

Ingredients

• 4 x 350g fillet steaks, well hung organic beef
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 500 g unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 6 tbsp lemon juice
• 4 tbsp each chopped fresh parsley, rosemary and thyme
• 8 canned anchovies, drained and finely chopped
• 1 tbsp finely chopped shallot
• Extra virgin olive oil
• 5 smoked chipotle chillies or fresh chillies, sliced finely (or less for the sensitive palate)
• 1 ½  tsp salt
• 1 ½ tsp ground white pepper

Method

• Brush the steaks with olive oil and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
• See to it that the fire is ready and the grill very hot.
• Place the meat on the grill and leave on long enough so that it can sear properly at which point it must be turned over so that the other side can sear.
• Now follow the general instructions as set out above.
• As soon as the meat is almost ready, remove from the grill and allow to rest for 5 or so minutes.
• For the smoked chilli butter, place all the  ingredients into a food processor and blend until smooth.
• Place into a small serving dish.

We include a recipe for the Argentinian Chimmichurri Salsa because it’s something that men seem to love, it’s easy to make and always a hit.

CHIMMICHURRI SALSA

Ingredients

• 7 fat garlic cloves, peeled
• 2 – 3 fresh red chilies (depending on how hot you like it)
• 3 tbsp hot Spanish paprika
• 3 tbsp good red wine vinegar – use the best as it makes a huge difference*
• 1 heaped tbsp (dried or preserved in brine) pink peppercorns, crushed well
• 2 tbsps chopped fresh oregano
• 2 tbsps fresh Italian parsley, chopped
• 1 tbsp lemon or lime zest
• 3 – 4 extra virgin olive oil
• Sea salt to taste

Method

• Place everything in the food processor and whiz until you have the consistency you like.
• As simple as that!

* Try using good Balsamic vinegar for a really tasty change.